Ngentot Gadis

Photo: Aaron Harris/CPSo here we go, into Parliamentary vote wonderland. Someone at the PMO has obviously done the math and decided there is a solid majority in the house for the same sex marriage bill, but it will be very interesting to watch each individual MP make up their mind (except for the cabinet, who are required to vote in favour).

There will be the “individual conscience” types who believe they communicated their personal beliefs to the voters and therefore have a mandate to vote their own opinion – step up Belinda Stronach and take a bow. The cynic in me sees you differentiating yourself from Harper and his Alliance allegiances in advance of another leadership vote down the road, but I don’t really believe that’s your motivation. Well, not your ONLY motivation. Full points for recognizing a civil rights issue and for stepping back from your party on this one. I’m sure it helps you that you are from a GTA riding, hotbed of homosexual unions.

And then there will be the “I’d really like to vote for it, but my constituents don’t want me to” folks. It’s a safe argument, but weak. Do you have a mind of your own? Are you just a proxy?

Speaking of hotbeds, nice work from the Globe and Mail this morning, taking a page from Penthouse magazine circa 1981 for their photo accompanying the same sex story. It’s good to see the national paper putting the emphasis where it belongs – hot, girl on girl action.

“Sex is a creative, unitive act. Sex is about communication. Radio regulation should be about communication, too.” —Revolutionary Ideas for Radio Regulation, Douglas Galbi

People need to be informed about sex, and as sophomore design major Joannie Wu said, “The best way to get people to learn is if they like what they’re listening to.” A show like WRCT’s “Is it in Yet?” is a key device for communicating the issues of sex to the Carnegie Mellon campus. The information on the show is presented in a humorous manner; it’s not like the sexual education class you took in high school where everything was serious and you were asked to leave the room if you started laughing. It’s more like an hour-long relaxed discussion of a sex-related topic full of facts, opinions, puns, and innuendoes.

Hosted by Wu and Alex Smith, a sophomore math major, the show covers important topics such as STDs and gay/lesbian issues, as well as special features such as an interview with a dominatrix. The hosts try to present information that is interesting, but not necessarily obscure.

“It’s the stuff that people wouldn’t go out of their way to learn about, even though they’re curious,” said Wu. Many of the topics come from the hosts’ personal interest or popular questions from friends. They do a bit of “pre-friend research” before the show to broaden their knowledge and perspective of the subjects. It is (obviously) subjective, as they can’t possibly know everything about the topics. The callers during the show contribute greatly to the content. The hosts find themselves answering questions ranging from your typical relationship problems to “Is semen vegan?”

But how far can they really go?

A disclaimer before every show states that the contents discuss sex, that the opinions are of the participants, and that “listener discretion is advised.” And, of course, all of the callers on the show are disguised with aliases.

The radio can be limiting — the hosts can’t just show their listeners a diagram; they have to describe it. And how exactly do they describe it? Well, as you might have guessed, there are several words that are taboo on the radio.

The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has defined broadcast indecency as “language or material that, in context, depicts or describes, in terms patently offensive as measured by contemporary community standards for the broadcast medium, sexual or excretory organs or activities. Indecent programming contains patently offensive sexual or excretory material that does not rise to the level of obscenity.” Profane speech is prohibited on broadcast radio (and television) between the hours of 6 am and 10 pm. As the show goes on at 10 pm, it has a bit more freedom, but the hosts still have to keep it PG.

In addition, obscene material is not protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution and cannot be broadcast at any time. The Supreme Court has established that, to be obscene, material must meet a three-pronged test:

* An average person, applying contemporary community standards, must find that the material, as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest;
* The material must depict or describe, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct specifically defined by applicable law; and
* The material, taken as a whole, must lack serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.

The hosts say that censoring their language is not as difficult as it may seem. “We speak with clinical terms,” said Wu. “We don’t need to say ‘cock’ to get the point across; we can just say ‘penis.’” They also have their producers there to catch any slip-ups. The callers on the show have greater difficulty with censoring, as they have not developed this skill as the DJs have. In order to minimize this problem, there is a seven-second delay when the caller goes on the air. Actually, being on the radio can be advantageous because the hosts can describe things (in clinical terms) that they would not be able to show on TV.

As Smith said, “Every college radio needs a sex show.” For all of you who would like to go against the classic mindset “sex kills, come to CMU and live forever” and would like a chance to talk about sex, tune into 88.3 FM WRCT at 10 pm on Wednesday night, and as Salt n’ Pepa sang in their infamous hit “Let’s Talk About Sex,” “Don’t decoy, avoid, or make void the topic” because, I promise, “that ain’t gonna stop it.”

"In the same way that Bed, Bath & Beyond exercises a tractor-beam-like pull on your girlfriend, hot women cannot resist performing amazing feats on North America’s slopes."

Apparently these "feats" aren't limited to on-snow activites. Check our Sarah Burke in the latest issue of FHM Magazine (Note to FHM, the skier/snowboarder rivalry died in, like, 1992).

“Good sex is good sex, but powder days are seriously special.”


Your bed’s feeling a little too crowded. You kick out the dog. But it’s still crowded. What gives?

It’s time to examine your gut. You’re getting older, your metabolism’s slowing, your handles are growing… maybe your thighs jiggle and your hips shimmy when you shake your booty. All in all, you don’t feel, well, sexy anymore. If you’ve forgotten what the phrase “frisky devil” means, keep the Viagra at the doc’s office and make some of these easy changes to your health regimen (or just start a health regimen) to rev up your sex life.

1. OJ’s Not Just for Glove Wearin’

Vitamin C’s a perfect fit for boosting your pleasure. Popping a couple thousand milligrams a day will improve your blood flow (making for stiffer, longer erections for men and riper Tweety Birds for ladies); and this potent little antioxidant will also work hard to take down any free radicals that try to damage the cells in your private parts - C’s your own, personal sex brigade.

2. Couples Stretch

Stretching your muscles is great for increasing flexibility and helping you achieve some of those positions you’ve only been able to read about (what is “Skin the Cat,” anyway?). Stretching with your partner has the benefits of 1. learning more about each others’ bodies, 2. testing each others’ limits and developing deeper trust and 3. getting good visuals while you lengthen. Start off by trying this simple stretch for your hips and back: Sit cross-legged, facing each other; grab each other at the elbows; one of you leans back (while the other one supports); and hold it for 15-30 seconds. Switch. Now hop in bed and reap the benefits of your work!

3. Sunflower Seeds Aren’t Just For the Birds

Sprinkle these seeds on a salad or grab a handful as a snack and feel your energy soar. Sunflower seeds are packed with B1, an energy boosting vitamin. Energy boosting, as in more endurance in the sack. B1 is also responsible for making sure your nerves and muscles work together and for keeping your ticker strong - both essential bodily functions for crazy sex. Foods also high in B1: tuna, black beans, asparagus and spinach - ten bucks Olive Oyl was one satisfied ho’.

4. Go Nuts

Nuts are chock full of B3, a vitamin that aids in beauty, emotional stability and energy. B3 is one of those vitamins responsible for freeing the energy from your food so that it can be used by your body. For sex. High energy = good sex. B3 also increases blood flow (we love those hard-ons!), controls your blood sugar (because who wants to sleep with a moody monster?) and helps your nervous system function properly (so you can tingle all over). Enjoy these treats in moderation, as they’re also high in fat.

5. Throw out the Cow

Substitute your regular milk for soy and reap the benefits of this magical bean. Besides being high in B vitamins and good for your heart, soy helps the ladies get lubed up. Soy adheres to a woman’s estrogen receptors, which determine how much lubrication her vagina needs. A little more soy means a little more lube. You’ll make your man think he’s turning you on faster, giving him more confidence, and, dare we say, inspiration in bed.

6. The Reason they’re Red Hot

Add some spice to your day by enhancing your meals with chili peppers. Chili pepper’s another food to help your blood circulation and it also stimulates your nerve endings, making for more pleasure in your pounce.

7. Take a Walk

Even if you’re not a hardcore exercise fanatic, doing something as simple as walking two miles a day can improve your sex life. Besides making it easier for you to move around in bed, people who workout get hornier. An Italian study of men and ED showed that the more men exercised, the better their wangers performed - a simple walk cut any risk of ED by 70%. And they’re not alone, ladies. Some science types at UT Austin studied women pre and post exercise. After watching a porn flick, the physically active women had 169% greater blood flow to their vaginas compared to when they were inactive. Getting your heart pulsing gets the rest of you pulsing.

8. Throw out the Cow II

Next time you think of ordering a burger, think of ordering one made out of fish instead of beef. Fish is high in Omega 3, a nutrient otherwise missing from our American diets. Scientific evidence shows that it helps with brain function (making for smarter sex), staving off depression (making for happier sex) and improving cholesterol and blood circulation (making for mmmmmmmmmer sex). If you can’t bear to let go of your beef, try popping a pill; Omega 3 can also be found in your vitamin aisle.

9. Cut Down On the Booze

Almost everyone’s had the unfortunate experience of a not-so-hot night in bed after knocking back a few too many: She needed to fake orgasm because she just couldn’t get aroused and he, unfortunately, couldn’t fake orgasm so he had to face his limp willy. Face the sad, sad truth: You don’t recover from a hard night of partying like you used to. The longer you prolong the beginning of the end, the lonelier your own end will be. Take care of yourself now so you can take care of your partner later.

10. Masturbate

You hear it right: go to town on yourself! The better you know your body and the more in tune you are with your “feel good receptors,” the more you can help your partner bring you to that place of ecstasy. You know how your doctor recommends you exercise three to five times a week? Just add this onto your regular routine. (Except you might want to wait until you leave the gym.)

*11. Suck It Up

Since this isn’t as easy as popping a pill, we’ve listed it as our bonus tip: suck it up and lose that weight you’ve gained since college. You keep talking about it, whining about it - just do it. You’ll feel lighter, you’ll look better, your confidence will skyrocket and so will your sex life. Eat less, exercise more, cut out the carbs, stick to yellow food, count your calories… so many diet options out there guarantee that you (or your lover) will be harder. In so many ways.